For over a half century, I have considered my self a Christian, following at different times almost every doctrine in Christianity. Over two decades ago, God drew (Jn 6:44) or forced me to begin following Jesus. I remember telling Him, "no way, that is unheard of and not possible to only follow Jesus". God was slightly gentle as He made me spend weeks analyzing each word and teaching of Jesus found in the four Gospels. God convinced me and although I have been sharing Jesus ever since, for many years, in the beginning I was trying to justify Christian teachings and doctrines with Jesus teachings. I have delivered over 1,000 teachings from Jesus (used to call them Sermons, then Message - as God was telling me what to share). This week's Jesus teaching is the first time I can remember God having me connect what Jesus said about "hear" with what Jesus said about "deny" (see below).

To refresh what you have learned in our Workshop or entice you to experience our Workshop

In all marriages you have issues. Most marriages have money issues. Some may have issues of distrust or in-laws or sex, etc. Issues can represent on going subjects of disagreement in a marriage. Events are a surface happening that triggers an issue. For example, if money is tight and a bill comes (an event), it may trigger a disagreement, about the issue of money. Or if one person has issues of distrust and the other person comes home late (an event), this can trigger an argument. When an argument is triggered it is a good to call time out and use the Speaker Listener Technique in your discussion. In some marriages, people tell me this type of discussion is almost a daily occurrence. Instead of waiting for an event to trigger an argument, it is better to discuss issues in you weekly couples meeting. Then when an event happens, the issue may already be resolved.

The Better Half "When your partner won't support your efforts to make your marriage better" Without your spouse's support to improve your marriage, you can still pray daily for God's will to be done in each of your lives and your marriage ("all things are possible with God", Mark 10:27 NIV). The subject of an event triggering issues is more difficult when your partners will not work on the issue. You can help defuse volatile situations if during good times you bring up potentially volatile issues and try to resolve them when times are going good.

A Psalm for reflection "Listen, My people, to My warning; … how I wish you would listen to Me!" Ps 81:8 (TE)

Understanding the Teaching: What I share in the teaching is what I believe God wants me to share. All the direct quotes from God are highlighted in royal purple. Of course the words of Jesus are in red. Rather than follow some made up doctrine, remember that Jesus said that every thing He said (Jn 12:49) and everything He did (Jn 14:31) comes from God. All teachings and all opinions should be supported by what we learn from God or Jesus (see the scripture referred to in the footnote).

On a recent Sunday, after teaching that Jesus says, "Believers … will place their hands on sick people, and these will get well"1, people were encouraged to pair off and put Jesus' teaching into practice by praying for each other's healings. It was even suggested that they could say they had a private healing need, so they would not feel they had to share a personal healing need. As they started communicating, some pairs near the front were overheard mentioning personal pray needs that had nothing to do with healing. Sometimes people hear with their ears but their brain doesn't seem to process what they hear into the actions that reflect what they hear. Jesus expresses frustration with this when He quoted what God said through the prophet Isaiah, "They hear, but don't understand; they look, but don't see"2. Why don't we understand what we hear? One reason is because we are so focused on our selves and what we want. Jesus tells us that people who want to follow Him must "…deny themselves … daily…"3. When you are focused on your self and what you want, it is hard to hear others and definitely hard to hear what God wants.

Recently I shared with a man what God say about limiting us to "… live only 120 years"4. Within less than an hour later in our conversation he was talking about his concern of leaving younger wife alone when he died, implying that he would not live that many more years. He is less than middle age (well under 60 years old). By God's standard he could live more than another 60 years but he did not hear what God thinks, only what he thinks. We need to deny ourselves and forget about what we think in order to be able to hear what God thinks.

One of the main problems married couples have in communication is because each one is too focused on what they want or think, to hear the other person. When we teach the skills in the Marriage Workshop of the Speaker Listener Technique, the couple learns to stop and listen to what their partner is saying and their partner has a chance to verify that they heard correctly. In the same way when Jesus encourages you to deny your self, it is so you can hear and understand what God is saying, without being focused on your personal concerns.

Sometimes people do not hear because of what they believe. A wife may not hear her husband's explanation when he comes home late, if she believes he is having an affair. A person may not hear a cop saying something to help them, if they believe they are in trouble. A politically inclined person may not agree with a politician of different political group without ever hearing what the politician said. A Christian may not believe what they hear from Jesus, if they believe a teaching or doctrine that is different. Example, there is a Christian doctrine that say every word in the bible came from God, along with other doctrines, which allows people to put teachings found in letters after Jesus walked the earth ahead of what Jesus teaches. An example might be what Jesus teaches about forgiveness. Jesus says, "if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you". And in case you have trouble understanding this simple statement, Jesus reverses it in the next verse, "But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins"5. Many years later John wrote in a letter, "If we confess our sins…" God will forgive us6. Some Christians will say, "God says, if we confess our sins God will forgive us". Yes at times it is easier to admit we did wrong or confess, than it is to forgive others, but Jesus teaches us we must also forgive others if we want to be forgiven. If people believe false teachings, they may not hear what Jesus teaches. How do you over come our selfish interference with hearing? Pray daily that God will help you deny your self and be open to hear what God and others want you to hear.

"God thank You for drawing us to Your son Jesus. Help us to put aside what we want and our selfish desires and put what You want first in our lives. Thank You for guiding us and helping us hear You, in Jesus name, amen."

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